Pub launches full English breakfast fragrance – but would you wear it?

A pub in Chippenham, U.K. has launched a full English breakfast fragrance, with top notes of smoky bacon and sizzling sausages on a base of fresh toast, to create ‘a tantalising aroma for breakfast fans.’ But would YOU want to waft bacon wherever you go…?

In Perfumes: The A-Z Guide, co-author Tania Sanchez wrote a witty introduction that pontificated on ‘The question that women casually shopping for perfume ask more than any other… “What scent drives men wild?” After years of intense research, we know the definitive answer. It is bacon. Now, on to the far more interesting subject of perfume.’ But if you were secretly yearning to wear a bacon scent all along, it seems your fragrance fairy godmother has answered your porcine-perfume dreams.

The Rowden Arms say the 50ml bottle of scent was specifically composed ‘to evoke the feelings of contentment and pleasure experienced when tucking into a hearty English breakfast.’ But, like most novelty-themed fragrances, it was actually created to promote something: in this case, the Hungry Horse pub chain’s new breakfast menu.

Rob Calderbank, business unit director at Hungry Horse, commented that ‘Everyone loves the smell of sizzling bacon in the morning, so what better way to celebrate your favourite meal than with a new fragrance that lets you smell like breakfast all day long?’

Well, Rob, we can think of a few reasons why smelling like breakfast might not cut the mustard (or, indeed, the ketchup or brown sauce) come 3pm, but the point of these jokey perfumes has never been to actually wear them.

Every year we see pearl-clutching headlines pizza perfumes and Stilton cheese scents (NB – our Perfume Agony Uncle, expert James Craven, actually says the blue cheese one smelled really good, a bit like jasmine!) In the past we’ve also reported on Richard Branson’s No.1 Ship perfume, which promoted his new cruise ship, with the tagline ‘it smells like ship.’ This isn’t the first meaty fragrance, either – we’ve endured burger-scented spritzes and even a Peperami-infused perfume (that was meant to lure lost dogs).

Though novelty fragrances can be somewhat groan-worthy, it’s interesting that scent – and our sense of smell – can cause such a stink. So, will we be wafting bacon wherever we go? Uh, no. But at least it gets people talking about it. And we think that can only be a good thing.

By Suzy Nightingale

Trojan™ Condoms – The Fragrance (yes, really!) But are they woody…?

I’m not sure how many of you had Trojan Condoms launching a fragrance on your 2021 Bingo Card of Continuing Weirdness, but here we are.

It shouldn’t be too surprising, given our previous report on Novelty Fragrances, which included a Captain Birds Eye scent (grapefruit, mandarin and patchouli, apparently), Pizza Hut Perfume (‘boasting top notes of freshly baked, hand-tossed dough’) a ‘limited edition’ (oh, shame) KFC Gravy Candle, Burger King fragrance and even an Eau de Stilton (which actually sounded lovely, and I have on good authority from expert James Craven, was rather fabulous on the skin.)

Last year, Richard Branson even got in on the act, releasing an eau de parfum named Ship, which was tongue-firmly-in-cheek described as ‘smelling like ship!’ We never got a whiff of this one, either – and though the fragrance was launched, one wonders if the new Virgin luxury cruise liner it was designed to celebrate ever was, due to the pandemic. Oh dear.

So many questions spring to mind for these condom-related scents, though… Are they woody, exactly how hard will it be to get to smell these Trojan Fragrances – and what might we expect when we do?

The website features a distinctly ‘retro’ feeling ad and the option to sign up for a sample to be sent (though they’re based in America, and cannot be sent abroad) – offering For Men, For Women and For All olfactory options.

For Man apparently ‘opens with fresh peppermint, green cardamom, and mandarin, giving it a crisp and confident feel. It then mixes with jasmine sambac, nutmeg, and rockrose before unfolding into rich frankincense, patchouli, and amberwood, creating the perfect scent for those who want to spark attraction and create desire.’ For Women, meanwhile, promises ‘Turkish rose and saffron… Casablanca lily, Madagascar vetiver, orris, and clean patchouli for a sexy and sensual tease that leaves an aura of mystery and intrigue.’

[We might note that the ‘doing what you want’ and ‘following your instinct’ appears to be slightly differently interpreted for men and women in the movie clips embedded in the fragrance pages. A leather jacket for men, fluffy handcuffs for women…]

Finally, the For All fragrance is an ‘…aromatic union of fougere and amber’ that mixes ‘lime, lemon, and orange to give it a flirty feel. An earthy rosemary, geranium, and violet combination unfolds into smokey sandalwood, patchouli, amber, and tobacco…’ As for the ad on the For All page… well. Let’s hope that’s paint, love.

The Trojan Fragrance notes do sound rather good, but while we might not be able to tell you exactly how they smell, we loved the glimpse of the sample packaging on industry expert George Lede’s Instagram page which, you have to hand it to them, is complete genius…


Trojan Fragrances & samples – photo by George Ledes


If you’re hungry for more, you can read our report on Peperami’s ‘Puperami’ meat-scented spray that supposedly lures lost dogs. An alternative kind of fragrant attraction this year for Valentine’s Day, perhaps…?

By Suzy Nightingale

We’ll meat again… Puperami: the meat-scented spray luring back lost dogs

We’ve reported previously on all manner of weird and wonderful novelty fragrances (from gravy-scented candles to perfume that smells of pizza or blue cheese), but (thankfully) this latest Peperami-infused one is not meant for humans…

Following news of a missing dog – who survived two days without food and water after falling into a hole, and was apparently lured out with the smell of a salami stick – Peperami have announced plans for a prototype pork-scented ‘Puperami: Eau De Lurette’. The idea being that people whose dog has gone missing will be able to lure their own missing pups by spraying the scent in and around the local area, in hopes of the dog catching a meaty whiff and reappearing.

The story goes that owners Sarah Adams and Declan Kemp from Edinburgh had been walking their five-year-old dog, Coco, in their local park at about 10pm when he ran off. Despite the pair’s desperate attempt to search for the Pekingese Cross, they could not find her and ‘feared the worst’.

The couple took to social media to upload a post about their missing furry friend, which was shared thousands of times. Coupled with the help of search and rescue dogs and locals, Coco was found two days later.

‘On the day of rescue, Sarah and her partner set off around 8am to search for their pup, taking a piece of Peperami with them in the hope that she would smell it and start barking.

It ended up being the pawfect solution, with Coco sniffing out the meaty snack and making small whimpering noises, before locating her stuck down a sewage hole over five foot deep.

Pulling her out by the scruff of her neck, the pair then called the Scottish Fire and Rescue Service to alert them of the dangerous ditch, who then shortly arrived with fire service personnel to cover the hole with logs.’

A spokesperson for Peperami said; ‘We’re thrilled to hear that Coco has been found safe and sound, thanks to the help of Peperami. Although our pork snacks aren’t suitable to be digested by dogs, we’ve been inspired by the story and looking into how we can replicate the same smell of our original salami stick in spray form. The ‘Puperami: Eau de Lurette’ prototype will aim to help future dog-owners find their furry friends.’

For those of you clamouring to stock up on the porky perfume, we must sadly report that the press release states ‘…although anything is paw-sible, as the product has only entered initial stages of development, a price nor timeline has been set defining when it will become available at re-tail stores.’ So your meaty fragrance dreams will just have to wait, for the moment…

By Suzy Nightingale